dear dad ☺

Dear dad,
It's been 4 months since you passed away. I still don't get it, how did this thing happen? I still don't believe it. I still think that you are only off to Tasik or somewhere outside Bandung. But apparently, it turned out to be outside this world, too. Beyond the stars. I hate the fact that I don't really feel sad, but I also kind of like it because I know that you already have that special place in my heart, forever. You are irreplaceable.

Dear dad,
I now am a 17-year-old girl. I've grown up, become an adult. You don't have the chance to see me like this physically. You don't have the chance to take me to the police station to make my National Identity Card by yourself. You won't see me graduate. You won't see me marry someone. You won't see me raise my kids. You won't see me as a woman.

Dear dad,
Do you know how much I miss you dad? Every time I see families spending their quality times, with their fathers around, I regret that I didn't spend my time with you. I preferred spending my time with my friends. Even, there are barely any pictures of you and me.

Dear dad,
Now, your earthly final home is complete. I do hope so with your heavenly final home. I hope you are already safely and soundly resting in heaven after a tiring 44 years.

And dear dad,
If you can hear me from out there somewhere, please keep in mind, that I will always love you, dad. Even with what we had been through. Even with all that problems. You have the place here, inside my heart.