Hi!

For a really long period of time, I haven't been able to cope with the things around me. Fuck.
Udah bertaun taun rasanya terakhir kali gw ngepost ya. The last one was, when? May 2013?
Hella long.

It's 2014 now! I made some rubbish resolutions I hope I could fulfill lols. Here it is:
1. Gonna go save up for a new mac! $10 per week should take me 2 years to get a new one.
2. I can only hang out on Friday nights, and spend max $30 (well, I kinda go past this one alr lol)
3. 1500 cals per day! Dammit I also went past this regulation
Umm, so far I stick to the first one only. But the second and the third was kinda hard to do....But making my way up!

I'm surprised tho to see my blog dashboard and see some people still posting stuff. I thought blogger was alr deserted long time ago. Way to go bloggers!
And I just realized as I was writing the previous line, that blog is the place where you can express your feelings free. Not afraid to be judged, since only people that knows your blog can read what's inside.

Consistent with my statement of not being judged, I wanna scream today.
I just had the weirdest dream ever. I don't know if this was because of the egg and salmon and sour cream and meat my friends and I ate at 3.30 in the morning or my mind has gone crazy.

Jadi kemaren gw ceritanya tidur siang. Like 2.5-hour nap. Heheee. In that sleep, when I was just about to wake up (or maybe I was sleeping too much that I dreamed a lot), I saw this guy, named Calvin, kissed a girl I know. Not well enough to know her feelings but I had a suspicion. I, then, jolted up with sharp breath and a mental pain in the head. Dammit, shit just got real. The image was so vivid that I found it hard to shake off.

Oh, by the way, the guy on my post in May is not the same guy as Calvin. He's my best friend now. Calvin was supposed to be the rebound guy, but......oh, well.
And so he actually knows how I feel since I told him, but he didn't reply me. He hang out with me for a while, then distanced since he hangs out with these freshmen that are obviously more up to his standards, at least for him. How sad, being lifted up to the cloud 9 and then you stepped on the wrong cloud and fell down to the earth.

Jadi gw lari dengan nugas. It works really well with me. Gw rada pusing sama application buat uni, sama exam, sama pr, jadi lupa dehhh.

At like 10.30 PM my other friend picked me up and took me to supper up in Green Lake. Terus kita ceritanya mau cari dessert tp malah end up makan Beth's Cafe. Beth's Cafe sells breakfast menu for 24 hours. It is located in the 99 highway. Beth's terkenal banget nget nget sampe kita belain antri ampir 2 jam buat akhirnya take away dan makan di rumah gw. Kita sampe balik jam 3.30 AM dan makan telor jam segitu. Hahahahaha I wanna laugh so hard that I pee my pants.

Jadi gw akhirnya tidur jam 4 an gitu. Terus around 9 am (or so I thought), gw mimpiin this same guy again. Why the two dreams in a row.......

In this one is different tho, he and his friends were in my house and they were about to leave. So when his friend opened the door for them, he suddenly turned and asked me,"One more?" and he kissed me while everyone was cheering. This dream was also very, very vivid. I even felt his touch on my waist as we kissed. Fuck. When a plumber knocked on my door, I was like,"Crap!" It was only in my dream. It's all my head set up for me to feel happy. It deludes. *sigh*

Now what's left is my homework, the university applications, and the feeling I tried so hard to get rid of. What nice way to spend a three-day-weekend.